January 9, 2010

I wish I could sit down tonight and write all about my month-long vacation to a remote Indonesian island that had no modern-day technological connection to the outside world, but sorry to say, I'm just back from my mental hiatus to nowhere in particular. I took a break from writing during the madness of Christmas not because I didn't have anything to say, but because I was afraid to say anything at all. I was afraid that if I started to talk about my first Christmas without Matt, I wouldn't be able to keep my shit together, and I'd never get through the month.

But I did. And now I'm back from wherever that place was. Maybe I went to Denial, where I could sail through the month of December, pretending that everything was ok. Maybe I shopped and wrapped and entertained and drank and ate and drank instead of having a complete nervous breakdown, which is, quite frankly, what I probably would have done instead. I was just really busy trying not to be sad and feel sorry for myself and spend every minute of every day wondering what I could have done differently - and blah, blah, blah.

But I'm back now. I'm back from not only The Verge, but from Denial too. It's time to start writing again, even if I have to dump way TMI on you while I'm here. I've decided that not writing is way worse than writing too much, since getting back in front of this keyboard is about killing me. I have spent the evening getting caught up on everyone's blogs and am a little embarrassed that I didn't bother to wish anyone a Merry Christmas or a Happy New Year. My belated and heartfelt wishes to all of you now - from my new, better place.

More later (as in, tomorrow, not February) when I'm feeling more in the groove. Tonight was just a matter of reconnecting with the blogosphere.

Glad to be here. I missed you guys :)