One Day in September

Yep, it's That Time of Year again. Right up there with Major Holidays and the Start of School and the Nordstrom Half-Yearly Sale, we count the State Fair as an Annual Mega Event around here. In fact, up until just a few years ago, the school districts actually gave a day off so kids wouldn't miss it. Which is exactly why, since I moved here twelve years ago, I haven't missed a single year. I was brainwashed from the start to believe that no matter what else is going on in the month of September, you go to the fair. At least once. Whether you want to or not.


Oh, of course I want to. I just complain about it because that's what I do best. I love the part where Jack is old enough now to bring a friend and a phone and ditch me the second we're in the front gate. This means that I get to visit all the hobby halls and exhibit booths and demonstrations without any distractions. I don't have to go on any rides or wait in any lines. I don't even have to share my onion rings.

And here's what I love about The Fair:

There is no self-esteem therapy in the world, no Stacy and Clinton good enough, to make you feel any prettier or more fashionable that you ever will at The Fair. The Fair Wear Fashion Show is probably my favorite thing. It's like Walmart, only way better.

You can buy food at The Fair that you can't buy anywhere else on earth. You can have chocolate covered bacon and/or deep fried [your choice of anything]. I say "and/or" because the other great thing is that you can have both if you want to! There are no limits on the quality or quantity of food you can consume. Kids get to count carmel apples double-dipped in M&Ms as dinner. It's the one time of the year when adults can eat cotton candy and admit it out loud.

There are products to buy at The Fair that are quite possibly the best inventions of humankind. Products that, when demonstrated, will put you into a trance and make you believe that your entire life has been pathetically deprived of luxury, comfort and ease.

Products that you will willingly carry around for the entire length of your Tour de Fair, even though they might weigh 50lbs. Like chainsaw art...

...or products that, in your right mind, you know are a total scam, but at The Fair, they just ROCK...

...and products that you secretly covet, even in real life, and you wish you could buy, if everyone at home wouldn't make fun of you.

Five hours and $100 later, there are two boys in the back seat of my car so jacked up on sugar that they're hanging out the windows yelling at passersby "Wazzup!" and I don't even care. I'm exhausted, but I'm so glad that once more, we got to add The Fair to our list of autumn memories.

Even if I didn't get my ShamWow. Again.