August 3, 2010

Sure Thing

I'm a yes girl.

Not like that.

I'm the girl who can't say no when you need something.  Anything. And it's not because I love house sitting, or feeding your guinea pig or babysitting your kids or running to the store at the last minute because you're out of milk.  It's because I talk before I think. Always. I hate it.

I'm always the first person to offer up when things are needed. Me! Pick Me! I'll do it! I'll buy it! I'll take care of it while you're in Hawaii for two weeks! God, half the time I don't even know what it is I've offered to do until I get a call the next day asking "Did you really mean you would plan my sister's wedding, or was that just drunk talk?" And still, I can't say it was drunk talk, because that would be rude. I said I'd do it, I'll do it.

I was the kid in class who raised her hand before the teacher asked the question because I wanted so much to be the one with the answer. It didn't matter if I didn't actually know it. That was totally beside the point.

The problem with being a yes girl is that it spills over into other things.  For instance, I'm the Queen of "Let's have dinner next Friday. My house! With all the kids!" Why can't I just say "Let's do dinner sometime?" because what I really mean is that I don't really want to hang out with you, but I don't want to hurt your feelings. I just don't know how to do that. I feel like I haven't said enough. Therein lies the problem. I don't know when to shut up.

I feel like it's good karma, though. As if saying yes to all of this means that one day, when I'm in need, I will have a good support system. Does that make it selfish? I hope not. I don't do it to get something out of it. I think I do it because I like to hear myself talk and saying yes requires a lot more talking than saying no.


  1. I used to be that person, but as I've gotten older, I've gotten much better at saying no or keeping my mouth shut!

  2. Can I take advantage of this and say, "Please come out to VA for a week and sit around drinking wine with me and talking about books! I really need some adult company!" :)

    I am glad, now, it wasn't your house I went to for dinner. I'd be wondering...

  3. Girl, I got no down to a tee! You're a good hearted person, love and I think it is wonderful that you stand by it!

  4. Just to set everyone at ease, all the instances mentioned in this post were purely fictional. I've never had people over for dinner I don't like. And I've never fed a guinea pig in my life.